By Cecille V. De Guzman
Do you have a sixth sense? Not as creepy as it sounds, but your sense of ability to see yourself through other people’s point of view.
I’m a guinea pig of my own thoughts but not self-centered. I might have read about it somewhere, that in order to improve and figure out my purpose, I need to see myself through someone else’s eyes. What do people see in me? How do they see me? And at the end of the day, I also ask myself– how do I see myself? Am I goal oriented, self-determined, emotionally, spiritually, and socially balanced? Or, have I felt incapacitated, misunderstood, and feared?
It’s important to know, and eventually determine how and what you see in yourself that others don’t. So, the next time you receive prejudice and scrutiny, keep this in mind–you have the power to see yourself within and you know yourself better than these blind-folded critics. Some may see you as if they know you, but only those people you allow to see you inside will understand and appreciate you.
I’m writing my thoughts in a clear view of myself being assessed and gauged in terms of my capabilities and opportunities– from my own point of view to yours. I know myself well, but I need honest feedback and a trusted person’s advice to validate every angle of my decision. I’m confident with my work, but I need a colleague’s suggestion and a mentor’s opinion if I’m on the right path. I don’t think it’s lack of independence, but purely initiative to consult others and create an open atmosphere for communication.
I’ve never settled for anything ‘not proven and validated’, including my fears and doubts about something I need to take. I usually take time to visualize myself doing what I think is right and compare it to — what others think that might be better.
Don’t fear to break the norm, but take courage to consider common expectation. You are the commander of your own life, but the people around you can help you become a better person. Choose the right people to surround you, and avoid those with ‘negative signs’. However, you can’t avoid dealing with some of them, so you should highlight only the learning rather than the unbecoming. ‘Hashtag’ the positivity, not the negativity.
Many times, I asked– what am I up to? What can I offer to the world? Whoa, what a big word! But, have you ever thought about it before? What do other people say about you? What do close friends tell about you? (when you can’t hear them)
Does it matter to you? Do you even care about what other people say? Or, do you just want to listen to the voice inside you? It’s important to evaluate these things, otherwise, you’ll end up being ‘me-myself-and-I’ kind of person. ‘No person is an island’– it’s true.
Seriously, I’m not talking about what is good or bad, and what is right or wrong– let’s leave it to the preachers. I am talking about being just an ordinary person who does the day-to-day activity. Are you a friend, a colleague, a passenger, a driver, a teacher, a family member? What kind of difference have you made so far? What sets you aside from being ordinary? What makes people value you, as a friend, as a colleague, and as a person? What makes you glow in the crowd of ordinary people? Have you got a sixth sense where you can see yourself through someone else’s eyes, and admire you for being who/what you are?
I am extraordinary, passionate, creative, appreciative, and straightforward; It’s how I see myself. Hence, I’m writing this daily insight to you– to encourage, affirm, and help you assess yourself, too. It’s my own way of making a difference.
It is nobody’s business to criticize others unless otherwise given permission to criticize one’s opinion, personality, and/or ability. Nobody knows better what you’re up to, but yourself alone. Yourself is your best friend, but be careful how you put yourself in a spotlight. Beware of seeing just ‘all the good things’ about you, instead, see yourself through someone else’s eyes where you can see your flaws and insecurities.
Not only your own perspective will help you determine your strength and weaknesses. Nothing is wrong about considering what other people say about you, just don’t indulge and get pressured about it too much. It’s just a matter of ‘thinking like them’ to help you analyze your failures, your attitude, and the opportunities you need for self-improvement.
If you seek advice, listen and weigh things properly. Why would you even ask for a friend’s advice and go on with what you think is acceptable? It doesn’t make any sense. When you ask for honest feedback, learn to accept and digest it. Don’t ask for something you would not even consider thinking about. It’s practically a waste of time for both of you.
Therefore, be confident about how you assess yourself with the help of the people you permit to criticize you, not from those who give unsolicited advice. You know who you are with your five senses. Learn the sixth sense– it’s seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes.
Finally, see yourself glow in the crowd of ordinary people.