By Cecille V. De Guzman
‘Don’t ask yourself to change to be like someone else. You’ll end up being an impostor inside your own body’
As much as I love telling stories, sharing my own experiences or other people I know who have fascinating journey, my favorite ‘topic’ to talk and write about is personality. It is so diverse but explicit enough to understand, appreciate and accept.
A dictionary says, one of the definitions of ‘personality’ is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character.
Regardless how it is defined by google or Merriam-Webster, one thing I know is about individual differences. You’re distinctive character makes you the real ‘you’. What makes you cool? What makes up your insecurities? What causes your fear? What do you think you’re good at? What are your potentials? Your weakness and strength? How do you see yourself before you sleep or when you wake up in the morning? All questions can be asked to yourself, your own personality.
You are who you really are. Do you know yourself better or have you tried comparing yourself to others? Don’t even think about competition with other person’s ability or disability because everyone is completely different from one another.
Your at your best but others may be at their worst. You’re wearing a calm and proud face yet it doesn’t seem to rhyme inside because you’re full of insecurities and doubt on your own capabilities.
The first time I heard about ‘individual differences’ is during my college days. I took Psychology course for two years and had gone pretty absorbed with the wonders about behavioral science, anger management, goal orientation and personality development. I love reading, too, so it kind compliment the fields that I took during college days. I was a news reporter and literary writer at ‘The Democrat’ (University’s official publication) since I was a freshman. I got few names in my head who taught me about complexity of one’s personality and the secret to ‘knowing yourself well’. My co-writers, mentors, advisers and counselors who helped me understand the questions I had about myself.
You can’t say that you know yourself so well if you’re too afraid to take a risk in your own decision. You can’t say ‘I can do it better next time’ if you’re still in doubt about yourself. You can’t win a fight if you don’t prepare yourself to lose. Your point of view describes the way you look things up. Your words mirror the kind of person hiding in the deepest darkest place of your safe-zone. Your thoughts reflect your actions. What kind of personality are you trying to build inside you right now? What influences you can be contagious to anyone get along. Be careful when you learn few steps because it may lead you astray without careful thinking, cautious analyzation of who you really are, what you really are – as a person. It is your personality, your perception, your views and opinion, your judgement and realization that makes you the real you.
There’s no such thing as ‘perfect personality’ but there can be ideal. We get inspiration from people who have vast experiences, positive values and thoughts about things. However, we are in-denial of our own imperfections sometimes. Too much longing to be somebody else when you can be someone like the ‘real you’. Before you think about ‘how to be someone else’ think about ‘how to be you’.
Learn to appreciate your lapses, accept your limitations and be subjective in making conclusion about yourself. It’s not a bad thing to deal with your incapability. It’s called fearlessness. You are brave enough to accept, appreciate and develop to overcome it along your way.
You can be influenced with positive vibes but never let yourself indulge in possessing one’s personality- it’s called a ‘copycat’.
Have your own unique way of dressing up, or talking, or walking and laughing. Authenticity is a trend. It never runs out of style. Being unique is different from being true to yourself. Knowing yourself means possessing the kind of personality that you’re comfortable with. You like rugged styles, you’re confident talking in public, you’re shy, you’re vocal, it’s okay, you’re fine. You can’t pretend to be someone else because it looks pretty cool.
You don’t need to accept the trend if it’s not really agreeable in your will. It’s like eating a cake but you really crave for a slice of pizza. You’ll end up longing for it’s savory taste. You’ll end up hungry because you’re not satisfied. The cake didn’t satiate your taste buds. It’s not what you’re craving for. It’s not what you really want.
It’s like filling your head with unknown thoughts, you won’t recognize somebody else’s beliefs, but you are fully aware where you stand. Your personality can be influenced but never it will change you to something ‘brand-new’.
One’s personality can be developed and cultivated but never fully-changed. It is healthy to admire an ideal personality but be authentic and unique in your own way. Don’t stumble and fall into comparison. Don’t ask yourself to change to be like someone else. You’ll end up being an impostor inside your own body. Before you ask ‘how to be you’ to somebody, ask yourself this question first.
How to be you?